Crap Gadgets

Food flavored dental floss

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It needs to come in antacid flavor.

Nausea

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Handheld Instant Star and Constellation Identifier

72953

Heaven forbid you actually use a field guide.

Despair,Nausea

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Eyeglasses cleaner

75938

I can see the infomercial now: “Tired of having to clean your glasses?” Billy Mays bellows over footage of an old lady inadvertently smashing her glasses with a microfiber cloth. “Tired of harsh cleaning chemicals getting in your eyes?” The old lady tears at her bloody, cauterized orbits.

“Never be bothered with the effort of cleaning your glasses again.”

Confusion

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Solar-powered Squirrel

solar_squirrel-custom

You’d have to be nuts to pay $55 for this. [via Oh Gizmo]

Confusion,Fear

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Snore Reducing Pillow

76335

The $129.95 price tag makes this 16 degrees of crap.

Bitterness

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USB Pole Dancer

usbpoledancer

“Customers buy this item with The Hillary Nutcracker,” Amazon reports.

USB Pole Dancer [Amazon]

Nausea

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Solar Powered Bible

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The greatest crap gift!

Torment,Uncategorized

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Video Camera Pen

76555
For those who like to pretend they’re spies to liven up their pathetic lives.

Nausea

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Pointless printer

76136
In this economy if you have this much money to plonk down for a pointless disc printer then have at it.

Bitterness

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MP3 player

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This evil looking MP3 player is supposed to be a dog.

Fear

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