Food flavored dental floss
It needs to come in antacid flavor.
USB Pole Dancer
“Customers buy this item with The Hillary Nutcracker,” Amazon reports.
USB Pole Dancer [Amazon]
Video Camera Pen
For those who like to pretend they’re spies to liven up their pathetic lives.
Flipping Hello Kitty
Fifth law of thermodynamics: As time advances, Hello Kitty brand entropy approaches infinity
DOUGH-NU-MATIC
An endless supply of tiny and unpleasant donuts is yours with the $129.99 DOUGH-NU-MATIC. It is best simply never to clean it, than to imagine what cleaning it might entail.
Toilet-Sink Combo
Though inherently eligible, the inappropriate elegance of this contraption gives it an edge: “After flushing, fresh cold water is directed through the faucet for hand washing and drains into the tank to be used for the next flush.”
Star Wars Mister
“Use the Force to beat the heat,” wheedles a pitch that takes contrivance to the point of complete illucidity. Each of these dreadful things is $20 at the Wireless Catalog.
Lighted Angel Wall Hanging
“Enjoy an inspirational and celestial twinkle,” begins the ad copy for this repulsive item, a blasphemy both to religion and design. “A beautiful scene of Guardian Angel watching over a country village, with sparkling fiber optic lights.”
Includes “brass-tone” rod and polyester tassles.